Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Teen Mom Season 2, Episode 3 - Hello? Are you over 21? Can you bail out my homeless boyfriend? By the way Merry Christmas...

I wonder what Kieffah is doing?  I hope he didn't drop the soap!

Kailyn : "Uggs!"  Jordan: "Ugggh"

It's just your daddy girls.  Don't cry!  Corey!  Put your stringy hat back on!

The South Dakota Olsen Twins

Chelsea-   Chelsea and Adam are still together?  ßthe question mark is intentional.  Anylowstandards, they decide to go out and cut down a Christmas tree together. Chelsea and Aubrey put on their best Cheetah print jackets which I think may be dangerous as they could get shot at any time in South Dakota for looking like animals.  Adam got a job working with generators or something (no experience needed I guess) and he and Chelsea are back together.  She asks her family to give Adam a second chance.  Her mom and her sister (who’s still bitter bc she didn’t get on Teen Mom) agree to give him a chance.  Randilicious refuses.  I guess he’s the only one that remembered and watched her entire 16 and Pregnant episode as well as the first season of Teen Mom.   Time for Christmas at Chelsea’s mom’s house.  Chelsea’s mom, Cheslea, Adam, Aubrey, Chelsea’s bitter sister and her daughter Braylee are there. Btw, are there two Aubreys?  She and her little cousin Braylee look exactly the same.  Do they use them both during filming like they did with the Olsen twins during Full House?

Kailyn- YAAAAAWWWWWWN.  This is Kailyn’s first Christmas in the apartment.  Isaac is going to Jo’s for Christmas Eve so she’s going to be alone for Christmas morning.  Kailyn decides to write Jo’s mom Janet a letter to try to work things out with her.  I can’t wait to see how Kailyn’s letter is going to go.  I imagine it will sound condescending like she does most of the time “Janet, I’m sorry that you’re like pissed at me.  I didn’t mean to hurt you but…..sigh… like...I’m like sorry ok??”   Jordan comes over on Christmas Eve and gives her some gifts.  Jordan’s so sweet but I have a question.   I don’t want to say it out loud.  Can I just text it to you??  Is Jordan slow?  Just an observation.  We’ll discuss later.  Moving on.  It’s Christmas morning and Kailyn goes to pick up Isaac.  She comes over and gives a letter to Janet.  Janet gives Kailyn some sort of little present.  Janet reads the letter and decides to accept Kailyn’s apology (somewhat).  When are Kailyn and Jo going to hook up again and get back together? You know it's going to happen.  It's just a matter of time.

Leah – Corey and EYE are so excited about Christmas this year!!  Leah wants to do it big because the girls were in the hospital last year (because they had just been born).  Leah goes to talk to her mom about Christmas.  She says that she put over $500 worth of Christmas presents on layaway at K-mart.  So basically she put an entire double-wide mortgage payment worth of presents on layaway for the girls.  Is it just me or is Leah’s hair blending in with the white walls at her mom’s house.  Her mom tells her  “Don’t get Agg-ra-vay-ted (ß-I spelled it exactly how she said it) because they don’t do what you expect them to do.  They’ll be more excited in the paper than the presents.”  They go to the VFW to celebrate the girls’ birthday.   The girls seem less than impressed but at least the cake tasted good.  Time for Christmas at the trailer park!!!!  Leah and Corey are wrapping presents and Corey wraps one with duck tape (as is tradition).  Maybe there’s a new hat wrapped up there amongst the gifts?  They bought a Santa suit and Corey is going to wear it to surprise the girls.  Aleeah cries and Ali just gives him a side-eye and cries.  Maybe if he would’ve worn that stringy hat they wouldn’t have been so afraid.  Btw I see like 4 gifts under the tree.  Didn’t she say she spend over $500?  Where did that all go?  On a tanning package and a bleaching kit for her hair?   Oh well at least everyone’s happy.  

Jenelle- Jenelle failed a bunch of her classes because she was hanging out with this homeless guy and not paying attention to her classes or her son.  He assaulted her, she pressed charges, and now he’s in jail.   Now that she’s bored, she wants to go bail out the homeless guy so she can ignore her son again and not pay attention to her classes.  Seriously.  Everyone got that?  Facepalm.  This episode we get to see Barb’s boyfriend, Mike, talk more than he has in any other episode combined.  He wants the old Jenelle back.  You know the one with a great personality and a ton of friends.  I’d like the old Jenelle back as well.   Mostly because I’ve never actually seen that old Jenelle on any of the MTV episodes she has ever been on.  They celebrate Christmas early because Barb has to go out of town (Wal-Mart meat cutting convention maybe) and they decide to open presents.  Cute baby moment: Jace hugging that teddy bear that Jenelle bought him.  Awww. Jenelle got Barb some fake Ugg boots and Barb could not be more excited.  Especially because she likes the “Dawk Collah!!!”  Lord, I love Barb and her accent. Later on Jenelle flips out on Barb over changing a diaper and Barb takes the baby and leaves.  I think this fight is more over the fact that Jenelle is embarrassed that Barb now knows that she’s on academic probation at school but I’m here to blog, not to talk about the serious underlying psychological issues that are actually at hand.   See, that last sentence had WAY too many syllables in it.  Sorry about that.  It will never happen on this blog again people.   Ok, so back to Jenelle.  Now that she’s bored and mad at Barb she decides to really make the effort to get Kieffah out of jail.  Well, most of the people won’t answer her calls and the ones that do won’t sign to get him out because they think he will run.    She calls her “friend” Tiffany and she walks down the street to meet with Jenelle.  So many questions.  Why does Tiffany look like she smells?  Is Jenelle the only one with a car?  Why does everyone else walk everywhere out there?  And wth is on that girl’s lip?  In the end no one will bail out Kieffah and Jenelle’s in tears.  That’s what low self esteem looks like people.  Thank you MTV.

Next week there’s some major drama between Jenelle and Kieffah, Leah cries about something she read on WebMd, Chelsea’s friend Megan gets knocked up and hopes MTV notices, and Kailyn and Janet talk it out. Get ready.  


  1. Omg... Dead on... Too funny on Barb and her accent
    "Dawk Collah". Classic! I love it! Thanks 4 a good

  2. Jenelle is so stupid!! Why does she want to be with that loser?