Friday, January 13, 2012

This was more exciting than Jersey Shore this week.

Sorry.  Jerzday was a bore this week.  To recap.  They're back in Seaside.  Vinny is still depressed.  They go out to a club.  They run home in the rain.  Sitch actually hooks up with a real chick.  The girl Pauly brings home steals his change and then probably realized after telling all her friends what happened that the cameras were on her the entire time so she brings it back the next day.  Vinny leaves.  The end.  

Also, I was just swamped with work this week.  I'm so so sorry.  See you next week!!!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Teen Mom 2, Season 2, Episode 6 & 7 : I watched this show for 2 hours and all I got was this blog....

Dear lord.  This week was an endurance test for me.  I legit thought that MTV was possibly trying to kill me by showing 2 shows back to back.

Leah - Just in case anyone else was keeping track Leah said "Geneticist" 1, 245,900 times this episode (give or take a few times.  Geneticist. Geneticist. Geneticist) oh and she still can't pronounce it.  Anygeneticist, they go to the geneticist (drink!) and learn that Ali may have some sort of genetic disorder but they won't know the results of the blood tests 4 weeks.  I think the genetic disorder was call coloradomelia dysplasia or something (don't quote me on that.  I was drifting off from time to time while watching).   Oh also a Physical Therapist came by and said that Ali needs some braces to be able to stand.  The good news is that they said that she will be able to stand and probably walk.  Yay for good news for them.  Oh also Ali stands on her own (assisted).  Leah's mom remembers that she got Leah to walk by putting cheese puff out and leah would walk to get them.  That explains a lot.  Especially why Leah insists on being the shade of cheese puffs.  And, Ali doesn't have that disorder.  They tell Leah to keep doing the physical therapy and to contact them in a year.  I would get a second opinion.  Something's just not right there.

Chelsea - She has to move out of her house because the owners are wanting to sell it.  She makes an agreement with Randy to get a place with the budget being $700 max.   She goes and finds a place that rents for $790 a month.  She's never going to get that GED with those math skills....Oh and Chelsea's going to try to pay utilities.  How hard is life for her?  Also, she died her hair Playboy bunny bleach blonde and got some crazy extensions.  She loves it.  It makes my eyes hurt.  Apparently Adam hates it too because he's back to being a d-bag and isn't coming around as much.  We all know how this is going to end right?  Also, Chelsea's 1 ride or die friend Megan is back and guess what?  She's pregnant.  However you probably knew that because it looked like she gained about 25lbs and her belly is showing. We then get to witness the only time I've seen Chelsea be smart ever as she tells Megan how hard it's been for her since she had a baby.  In all actuality it hasn't been realistically hard for Chelsea since MTV and her father has supported her this entire time.  However Megan doesn't have that MTV check to fall back on since MTV's not interested in picking up her pregnancy as a spin off.  Sorry Megan!  Good luck!

Kailyn- Let's see here.  I think Kailyn's back to burning bridges again.  She's still not communicating with her mom (crazy Suzi) and she can't seem to understand why Janet would be upset with her.  I used to feel sorry for her but now it's obvious that she has serious issues when it comes to communicating with others.  She either acts rude or cries.  It's getting old.  Moving on, it's Isaac's 1st birthday and Kailyn throws a party at her income-subsidized apartment.  Kailyn makes some cupcakes and everyone comes over and has a blast.  Jordan even bought Isaac some shoes that seriously won't even fit Isaac for at least 3 years.  Later, she totals her car and has to get it salvaged.  She has no money cant afford to get a new car.  She decides it's time to file for child support but instead of calling Jo to speak to him about it like an adult she leaves a voicemail.  "Hi, it's me.  I'm filing for child support. Bye."  Jo is pissed and handles it in his old Jo style by calling and spitting out some insults but she just hangs up on him.  Note to Kailyn: You can do whatever you want regarding child support but when you're filming your second season for a hit MTV show and you're carrying a Coach purse and talking on an I-phone it's hard for us to see that you're broke.

Jenelle- Jenelle missed the deadline on purpose  to enroll into school so she has to wait to re-enroll in the summer.  Also she has to go to court due to the breaking and entering/ marijuana charges that she racked up last season.  Kieffa is out of jail and Jenelle is running back to him.  He gladly accepts his meal ticket and things are back to normal for them.  Before court Jenelle went to see her lawyer who told her that she needs to stop smoking weed.  I love how Jenelle admitted to smoking, said it would be on her drug test during court and then asked how long she would need to stay clean for.  She's more committed to that than she is to Jace.  Jenelle's car breaks down and she works out a "deal" to get a very nice used car (thank you MTV wink wink).  Also in this 2 parter we get some good gems of advice from Barb about court such as:

"Kieffa's done. He's done."  "Whateva you do don't lie about smokin' da weed to the judge man.  He'll throw da book at ya!"

I heart Barb.  I heart her so much.  They get lucky because court's closed (possibly because of snow flurries?  I love the South).  Later Jenelle gets a text from an ex-boyfriend and it starts a fight with Kieffa.  He says that Jenelle gets texts from guys and he doesn't get texts from any girls.  Probably because you live on a grassy knoll.  Do they get phone reception out there?  Keiffa walks out and doesn't talk to Jenelle for 4 days.  By day 4 she's on a 5150 status and is ready to break.  She can't even watch Jace for 10 minutes so Barb can go pay the sewaaaa bill because she's in her room crying and repeatedly calling Kieffa.  She finally gets ahold of him and he comes over in his nicest Betty White t-shirt to break up with her.  She starts crying and even chases him down the street after he gets in his friends car saying that she loves him.  Pathetic.

Whew!  I'm exhausted.  On next week, Kailyn gets bangs and talks to Jo about child support, Adam leaves Chelsea (shock), they may have figured out what's going on with Ali and Kieffa realizes who has been paying for him and comes crawling back.  Stay tuned.

P.S. I know I spell Kieffer's name wrong all the time.  I don't care.  =)

Friday, January 6, 2012

Jersey Shore Season 5, Episode 1: MTV's 1 hour Plan-B Commercial


^^^The face of guilt^^^

Well, they're baaaaack.  The guys and gals of the Shore are back in the US of A and they couldn't be happier.  Especially because they have the opportunity to GTL and get fresh to deaf in Jersey (which I believe is what our forefathers fought so diligently for).  Anywho the gang is over the moon to be back in the armpit of America, i.e. Jersey.  The first thing they do is go to the T-shirt shop where they'll be working again this summer.  I thought this was fitting because in about 3 years you will be able to go back to that very same T-shirt shop and see most of the cast still working there full time.  Except for Vinny.  Vinny will be going to college and living in his old room at his mom's house ( I have high hopes for him).  They spend the rest of the night enjoying the Boardwalk which looks just like a huge carnival.  I'm sure it was a blast.
The next day the boys go out to GTL.  We'll start in that order.  Ronnie and his roids are SO happy that he gets to lift again (it gets the aggression out).  Pauly runs into the tanning salon like his blow out is on fire and asks for the darkest lotion STAT.  I'm just going to say this right now.  Pauly D is darker than me and I was born this way.  I'm not sure if that's healthy or not.  Sitch gives over an entire bag of clothing to be dry cleaned, I imagine because he hasn't washed his clothes since he left for Italy.   That night they go out for drinks and.....SURPRISE all their friends and family are there!  What a surprise!  Vinny even cries.  It was beautiful.  I think Vinny's creepy Uncle Nino got to hug and feel up everyone too.  Joy.  The thing that got to me was looking at the dads.  Did anyone see Snooki's dad?  He was cut!  No wonder she likes juice heads.  And J-Woww's dad I believe was a stand in for Dumb and Dumber (don't quote me on that).  

Moving on to the scripted drama, Sitch's friend "The Unit" (seriously he's called that) is there and he's ready to start some curly haired blow out drama with Snooki and her overly waxed boyfriend Jionni.  Snooki looking as guilty as ever starts yelling at The Unit.  Why?  I'm not sure.  Probably just because she knows she's guilty.  In the mix of course is the Situation who yells "Stop" about 1 million times even though he started it.  Isn't it ironic?  Don't ya think?  Well nothing happens, and they end up going home to potentially start drama.  Unfortunately Snooki sees this coming and she and Jionni hole up in her room for the night never to be seen again.  The MTV producers must be pissed.  They go back home and we get to see a montage of the Sitch and The Unit getting ready to um....go downstairs?  It involves sweats, cologne, desperation and moisturizer.  They go downstairs and there's a drunk Ryder and Pauly D.  I'll fast forward. He gets it in with Ryder which leads to some great sayings that I'll list later.  Best moment of the night is when Pauly D and Ryder are lying in his bed and a drunk Deena walks in and just sits there.  It's never happening Deena. I'm sorry honey.  

What I must mention is how MTV put the Plan B commercial in immediately after Pauly D hooks up with Ryder.  Great work MTV.  Great work.  It's like the company that makes Plan B saw the opportunity, knew their target audience, seized the day and bought an excellent commercial spot.  Way to go Plan B.  Money well spent (clapping hands).

The next half of the episode is a yawn.  Snooki apologizes to the Unit to buy her some time.  Vinny decides he's depressed because he misses his mommy.  They go clubbing at Aztec but there's grenades everywhere (although someone's mom was really rocking it that night.  I wish I could find a pic of her).  The episode ends with Vinny missing home.  You could tell it was serious because Vinny put on his glasses and there is an overwhelming amount of the words "bro" and "yo" being used.  I'm sure we'll pick up with that next week.

In all I was happy with this episode.  The cast is back in their element and although there was still Mike/Snooki drama they managed to add some more interesting elements into the picture.  I'm ready for more Jerzdays in the future!!

Also, not to be forgotten are the Ryder references.  Ok?  Go! :

"Whether you're the 1st man in or the last man in.  Ryder." - Pauly D
"Everybody Ryder just like a bus route." - Vinny
"You got your Metrocard? So you can Ryder just like a bus route." - Ronnie

Sure, it's a double standard but her parents must be SO proud.

Did I miss anything?  Let me know!