Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Hospital Visits, Pressing Charges, and Orange Clothing, Oh My!!!!!!!!

My room is supposed to be the LAUNDRY ROOM???!!!

Meeting of the Oranges

I'd like to press charges and get a pack of Newport Lights please.

Leah's singing (or meds) puts Ali to sleep

This week in Teem Mom Land.  If you're not in the hospital or pressing charges then you're wearing orange.

Chelsea-  Chelsea needs to have surgery.  She goes to see her dad Randy to talk about it.  Randmeister says that she will now have to cut back on her “jogging”.  I feel like jogging is code word for something else but I’ll keep it PG right now.  I mean, we all know how Aubrey got here right?  Chelsea tells the Randmeister that she’s going to have Adam take care of the baby while she’s in the hospital.  He doesn't seem to pleased but he can't do anything about it so he's staying out of it.  Well now it’s surgery day and it’s time for Adam to actually parent for once.  He shows up and immediately drops Aubrey on the floor (“accidentally”).  Aubrey and Chelsea both cry.  This is going to go swimmingly.  Chelsea goes in for surgery and Adam is forced to parent for about 2 hours.  From what we see he does an okay job.  Chelsea comes into the room from recovery and is emotional from the start.  Aubrey pulls on Chelsea’s recently worked on leg andAdam calls her a “little bastard” <  They get back home and Adam and Chelsea have a heart to heart after throwing Aubrey in a pack-in-play to sleep.  That was a pack-in-play wasn’t it?  Why does no one have cribs or toddler beds?

Jenelle-  Well Jenelle and Kieffer are at it again.  Apparently they had another blow out fight (I’m guessing because the seatbelts were too tight in the car) and Jenelle broke up with him.  My guess is that the break up involved her driving up to that grassy knoll where she usually picks him up and opening the car door and telling him to get out.  So Jenelle with no friends and no one to turn to has to call Barb.  Barb decides to call a truce and wants to meet at a restaurant later that day to talk about it.  Jenelle goes to the courthouse to press charges against Kieffer.  She says that this is so she can get back home to Jace but I really feel like it’s just so she can get back at Kieffer and have a place to live.  I mean, she didn’t care about Jace when they were living in her car those first few days did she?  Now, I don’t know how they do things everywhere but in Jenelle’s town they go to a courthouse that looks like a check cashing place and give a statement through a glass wall and then swear on a Bible.  Oh and no one asks for witness information or pictures of injuries or anything.  OK.  Anywho, the charges have been pressed, a warrant is out and I think Jenelle also got $10 on pump 3.  Jenelle then goes to talk to a random friend that I guess she hasn’t talked to in awhile.  They go to meet at the Coffeehouse called….."Coffeehouse" which is directly next door to the Flying Pig.  I’m guessing there's a Flying Pig on every corner out there huh (see what I just did right there)?  She tells her friends about what’s been going on and the domestic violence and her friend doesn’t even flinch.  I guess she really is one of Jenelle’s true friends.  She’s not even shocked by what happened.   Now it’s time for Jenelle and Barb to put on their nicest orange attire and meet to discuss a truce.  Jenelle tells Barb that she was sleeping in her car and Barb starts crying.  Barb says that Jenelle can move back but that they have to get along for the sake of Jace.  Jenelle agrees and comes home.

Leah- Back in West Virginia it’s time for Ali’s M-R-EYE.    Corey took the day off from whatever job he wears that flannel shirt and ratty hat to in order to go to the hospital with them.   They are trying to stay strong for Ali but everyone is visibly nervous.  Corey’s even using up more subtitles than normal trying to explain how he feels.  They pull up to the hospital and we get to see the nice bright orange truck that  probably cost them more than the double wide they live in.  Seriously, who buys trucks that color?  They go in for the M-R-EYE and everything goes as it’s supposed to.  We get to see Ali with her glasses off and I think she looks a lot like Corey.  Hopefully she’ll learn to open her mouth more than her dad when she learns to talk.  They get Ali ready and sedated for the M-R-EYE.  Corey is crying before she even gets her first dose of medicine.  Leah starts crying and then they hug and go into the waiting room to wait and cry some more while the procedure takes place.  Now, putting a little personal info into my blog I will tell you that I had to do the same procedure with my daughter when she was 6 months old and then I had to take her to get sedated again when she was 3 so she could get her eyes examined.  You cry.  A lot.  I feel for them.  It sucks.

Kailyn -  It’s time for Kailyn to sign the lease and move in.  She still hasn’t told her mom that she’s moving out though (because that would be the adult thing to do).  She tells Jordan about the place and he seems really excited that Kailyn will have a new place for him to crash at.  I mean, it’s a 1 bedroom and Isaac has to sleep in the laundry room but ……it’s a new place!!    Kailyn devises a plan to move out really fast while her mom’s at work (insert Benny Hill music here) and then to call her mom afterward and tell her what she did.  Well school is out and it’s time to move so ready 1,2,3 GO!  Kailyn has like 2 hours to move and has not packed anything in boxes.  She says it’s because she has never had to move before.  Um….Kailyn we all saw your “move” from Jo’s house last season.  Well I guess he did put everything in trash bags for you but whatever.  Well they get everything loaded into Kailyn’s apartment/welfare lodge and she goes to call her mom.  Her mom doesn’t seem to mad about it but she does want her TV back.   That needs to come back STAT.  Oh, and don’t forget the remote either.  Drop everything and bring that back too.  She tells Jo that she got a new place now.  Jo acts happy for her.  I have a feeling Jo’s mom has coached him to not look like an a-hole on TV this season because he’s acting a lot nicer (for the cameras at least).  Kailyn is definitely the most mature of this cast but I can’t stand how she just runs away from everything if she feels uncomfortable.  Maybe she’ll learn one day.  We’ll see.  The next day Kailyn goes to return the remote to her mom Suzi and they get into a little tiff about who said what and who wrote the note.  I was waiting for Sammi from Jersey shore to jump out and yell “It was J-Woww and Snooki!” but that sadly never happened.

Next week:  Kailyn and Jordan are bumpin didlies  and have to talk about it out loud.  Adam runs away with Aubrey.  Leah finds out the results for her child’s M-R-EYE…of the brain and Kieffer turns himself into to jail.

Also, the after show.  I’m not doing a full blog on the after show but here’s how it goes.  Everyone’s hair is horrible.   HORRIBLE.  If MTV hired a stylist to do the hair then they should be fired and should find a new career (see above horrible cell phone picture).  Suchin Pak did the recap. They brought on the tears early by asking Leah about the M-R-EYE.  They also talk about how hard it is when you take a baby home.  “You know, you have to get up like every 2 hours.”  “You have to take naps when the baby naps” etc.  They talk about Jenelle and Kailyn’s mom.  Blah blah blah.  It was boring.  If you want to look it up go ahead but I’m not wasting 30 minutes of my life again….

See you next week!!!


  1. You always do an AMAZING job. When I miss the show.....I just read your blog and its better than watching.

  2. Thanks so much!! I have a lot of fun with these.