Thursday, December 15, 2011

Teen Mom 2 Season 2; Episode 2 “That was my chaaaange purse Jenelle!!!”

No more apple juice mom!!!

We live in a car down by the river.

Our new place!

"Don't steal my thunder b*tch"

Well Kailyn is a bit stressed because her mom’s boyfriend wrote her a letter the night before and she isn’t happy about it.  To sum it up he basically wrote for her to clean her room and dust it and that he and her mom don’t like living like trash.  This all would make sense if the room was actually messy but the funny thing is that the room isn’t messy at all (cocaine is a hell of a drug isn’t it?).  She is upset and thinks that she may get kicked out of her mom’s place.  I’m guessing there were other issues besides this note because if not her crying is a little over the top.  Boo…I hate to see the Cowardly Lion sad.  She starts thinking of ways to get out of her mom’s house.  She goes to eat lunch with Jordan and tells him about how unhappy she is.  Jordan tries to make her feel better but he also makes it clear that he’s perfectly content living with his parents (please upgrade Kailyn).  Jordan suggests going on welfare but Kailyn says that she has too much pride to go on welfare.  In the end, Kailyn finds a rent assistance program and gets a decent apartment for $50 a month.  Blah Blah Blah her section of the show is so boring right now.  She sees a problem, she fixes it.  She's responsible.....BORING.  Oh and btw, Isaac poops the pants right when they agree to get the apartment.  Probably because he just realized that his dad lives in a mansion sized home and he’s going to be living in this crappy apartment.  Moving on…

FACEPALM.  That’s how I feel when I have to write about her.  Apparently Adam and his barbed wire tattoo want to get back together.  Also if you want to get back together you let someone know with a private message through Facebook (write that down).  However Chelsea doesn’t have the time to worry about the Facebook message because she re-tore her ACL tripping up the stairs…….seriously…..she makes me so sad.  Her mom comes over in her best Kindergarten Halloween T-shirt and pumpkin earrings and says that they need to go to the hospital.  Well, they find out that Cheslea needs surgery again.  She tells her family that Adam is going to help take care of the baby.  Btw, she wants to get back with him too (surprise!).  Chelsea decides to talk to her friend Tiffany about getting back together with Adam.  Tiffany is less than excited but they all know that Chelsea’s going to make the same mistake so there’s not really an argument made about it at all.  Chelsea tries to justify it by saying her heart is hurting…..whatever.  Cheslea goes to talk to her sugar daddy (well actually daddy) Randy and he says that he sees that she has a new friend on facebook.  Btw- I really want to be Randy’s facebook friend.  We could discuss teeth whitening and maybe he could buy me a nice house to live in rent free.  A girl can dream right?  Randy is disappointed in Chelsea’s decision but Chelsea doesn’t seem to care.  I’d like to see Chelsea try to survive if her dad cuts her off.  I mean the girl can’t take a GED to save her life.  In the end Chelsea and Adam are back together…yay…..facepalm.

Leah’s exhausted because after a full day of work she has to go pick up the girls AND put them to bed still.  Welcome to reality Leah.  Corey and Leah put the girls to bed and then talk about Ali’s doctor appointment.  Corey’s still wearing that old stringy nasty hat and he still doesn’t open his mouth when he talks so I don’t really know anything that he said.  Honey, open your mouth please.  Then MTV won’t have to pay to add subtitles when you talk.  It’s time for Ali’s doctor appointment.  Ali’s eyes are doing better so she won’t need surgery but her optic nerves are smaller than normal.  Now usually I don’t put my personal life into these blogs but my daughter’s optic nerves are also smaller than normal and we had to go through the same process that Leah’s going through.  It sucks and they cannot give you a true diagnosis.  They just tell you to wait and that you won’t know anything until her eyes fully develop.  It sucks and I feel for her.  For this reason I am not going to make fun of her Pamela Anderson Halloween wig hair this episode.  I will wait until next week.  After the appointment Leah calls her mom to discus the appointment and let’s her know that Ali’s going to need an M-R-EYE of the brain.  She has a convo with Corey about it too and Leah says that she’s not going to accept that Ali has brain damage until it has been proven by a specialist.   The next day they go to Corey’s parent’s house and the other twin, Aleeah, takes her first 2 steps.  In response Ali gives her twin the “honey badger don’t give a damn” face.  Corey’s stepmom says that her WebMd research shows that Ali may lose vision in her eye.  Btw, just a tip.  Don’t ever google or WebMd anything.  You will always get the worst case scenario.  Always. 

Well Jenelle and Kiefer are living in her car and things aren’t going so well because well for one, they’re LIVING IN HER CAR and two, Kiefer started drinking again (raise your hand if you think he never stopped drinking).  It scares me that she doesn’t seem that concerned about being kicked out of her house and not being able to be her son but I’m not surprised.  Jenelle calls her friend Amber (i.e. Miranda Lambert) and asks if they can shower over there.  They are SO grody.  I feel like if I could smell them through the screen it would be B.O. mixed with sweat and depression.  Jenelle decides to go to the library but Kieffer doesn’t want to go.  He’d rather go to the “Sweepstakes” instead.  Question.  Does anyone know what the “Sweepstakes” are?  On the drive to the sweepstakes they get mad because all Kiefer talks about is weed, alcohol or drugs.  Oh, what a winner.  Later Miranda Lambert and Jenelle have a heart to heart about Kieffer.  She says that she realizes that she sacrifices time with her son to spend time with Kieffer.  Sad that she doesn’t seem to understand how damaging that is to her son…..  Later the gang all decide to go bowling.  During this scene we get some notable sayings such as “Planet fun is down the road!” and “Let’s bizzounce!”  Jenelle is mad because Kieffer has alcohol and she doesn’t like it.  Her friend, we’ll call him Howdy Doody, is pissed because he drove all this way and people are unhappy.  Jenelle tells Kieffer to take one more drink and she’ll knock him out.  Kieffer takes a drink and Jenelle goes ballistic.  She throws Howdy Doody’s change purse at Kieffer.  Howdy Doody gets pissed (“That was my chaaaange purse Jenelle!!!”).  What ensued was like a crazy episode of Cops without the cops.  Jenelle’s friends just stand there and watch.   I believe it’s time for  a plug annnnnnnnnnnd there it is!  Does anyone else think those little 30 second spots  are MTV’s special way of saying “Please don’t sue us for showing domestic violence on TV?” 

Next week in Teen Mom land.  Kailyn tries to secretly move out. Jenelle goes to get a restraining order against Kieffer.  Chelsea and Adam fight at the hospital (surprise) and Leah takes Ali for her MRI.

Did I miss anything?  Spell someone's name wrong?  Hate my blog?  Leave me a comment and let me know.  I won't promise that I'll read them but I'll comment either way.

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