Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Teen Mom 2 : Homelessness is the new Black

^^The same look I give when I watch this show.

Guess who’s back.  Once again.  Teen Mom’s back.  Tell a friend. 

I’m baaaaack and I’m here to recap the ever loving crap out of Teen Mom 2!!!

Kailyn, the cowardly lion, is still dating Jordan.  Ummm how can I say this without being mean…..Jordan is such a tool.  Seriously I think Kailyn and her sour puss face can do so much better but it’s whatever makes her happy I guess.  Kailyn calls Jo to ask if she can get Isaac early for trick- or-treating and they have a civilized conversaion.  Yay!  Since Jo’s not filming another rap video for youtube I guess he’s willing to be more accommodating.  I’ll admit it.  It’s nice to see them be nice to each other.  It’s healthy.  You don’t see healthy on this show a lot.  Jordan, Kailyn and Isaac go trick or treating together and everyone has a great time…..yawn.  They’re so normal it’s boring. 

Leah’s been at home with the twins and she’s wanting to get out with those hot new Pamela Anderson late Baywatch days blond extensions and partaaay!!!  She tells Corey that she wants to get a job and Corey seems less than thrilled.  Leah sells him on the idea by saying that she can earn some gas money.  I guess the gas prices are affecting everyone these days.  Corey thinks that she’ll flirt with everyone.  Now I know ppl are like “Well she has twins and lives in a trailer” but seriously she’s probably the hottest commodity in West Virginia so I understand where he’s coming from.    Leah goes on the job hunt (enter minimum wage job hunt montage).  She finally gets a call from her mom saying that there’s job opening at the dental office.  Since I guess there’s no experience needed to work with teeth at this place she goes and interviews and immediately gets the job.  Corey’s still worried about her cheating (foreshadowing anyone?) but he is happy for her.

Chelsea’s studying for her GED.  Good lord I know this show’s been off the air for a bit but how long does it take?  Seriously?  Adam wants to come back in the picture (more than likely because he’ll be on camera again) and Chelsea is taking the bait because she just loves punishment.  Adam comes over and Chelsea gives Aubrey a nice big bottle of apple juice and puts her hair in that nice wavy style for a reunion.  Adam’s trying to weasel his way to some Teen Mom 2 money and Chelsea’s eating it up.   She talks to her mom about Adam and her mom tells her that Adam is no good and to just stay single.  Chelsea still wants to see him though.   I know he’s not the only guy in South Dakota with no life and a barb wire tattoo.  Seriously Chelsea, get some self esteem and get it fast.  Oh and get that GED one day too. 

So Jenelle’s been sneaking around with Kieffer because Barb doesn’t want them to be together (for obvious reasons).   Jenelle’s friends (well the 2 loyal ones she has) try to warn her about Kieffer.  Btw- doesn’t the girl look like a young Miranda Lambert?  Just me?  Ok.  Anywho Jenelle’s not listening because she loves living on the edge (which leads to living on the street) so we all see how this is going to end up.   Finally what we’ve all been waiting for.  Barb and Jenelle start their fight.  Barb is mad because she says Jenelle was out too late and she has to go to work (in the meat department at Wal-Mart) and she can’t be late.   I just feel so bad for Jace.  Good lord, through all this he just sits there and takes it all in.  What a disaster.   She calls Kieffer and he walks down the street (literally, you know bc he lives on the street) to comfort her.  Btw- how does he have a phone?  Isn’t he homeless?  Who pays that bill?  Finally it’s Halloween and Jenelle meets up with Kieffer who is standing on the side of the road waiting for her to drive up.  They hang out and then Jenelle gives him her car so he can hang out with friends.  They do this exchange and then Kieffer drops her off…..right in front of the house….because we know Barb’s not going to be watching her at all right?  #Epicfail.  Barb right on cue confronts Jenelle and the fight that I’ve been waiting 55 minutes for finally begins!
Now due to the accents and craziness it’s a little hard to hear it all but I got the jist of it. 

Barb: Well Jenelle I seen you with Kieffaaah!  Get out!!!

Jenelle:  “I can touch my child.  Get the f*ck off, stupid b*tch!”  ßhow is she still alive?  My mom would’ve murdered me and she would’ve used this episode to prove just cause.

(Barb gives the baby to her boyfriend Mike)

Barb: “Ya done!” and Barb throws Jenelle’s clothes out the door.

(It’s like an episode of Cops without the cops.)

Barb: “I hope yah have fun living in the f*cking street with yah booooooyfrieeeend!!!   (EPIC)

Barb: I thought you broke up with this son of a b*tch.  Tell yah boyhfriennd to come pick you up!”

Barb: Yah to selfish to take care of yah kid yah little b*tch!”  - door slam.

As you can tell, Barb won the fight by a mile with her clothes throwing skills and her awesome comments.   Trick or treating should be nice and awkward since I’m guessing that all of their neighbors crack the blinds so they can watch every second of this.

Next week:
Kailyn worries about bills (yawn).
Leah goes to the doctor to talk about her child’s condition.
Chelsea goes back to Adam.
Jenelle and Kieffer fight.

Stay with me people.  It’s bound to get better from here right?