MTV finally decided to give us the dads side of the story with their 90 minute special on the Teen Dads from Teen Mom. While I would've rather seen them followed by cameras while they tried to pick up girls at their local club by saying "Yeah, I'm that guy who knocked up that teen girl on MTV. Now let's make it rain!!", I'll just settle for 90 minutes of dads making weird and uncomfortable faces while sitting on a couch watching old footage of them being total assholes while Dr. Drew sugar coats everything. Shall we continue? I think we should.
Anywho, the first 5 minutes does not disappoint as we get to see old clips of these "dads" acting like total idiots to the Teen Moms. Bravo MTV, Bravo. Then we get to hear little funny sex-ed foils. Gary once used saran wrap as a condom (I imagine the whole roll and not in a good way) and Tyler once used a condom that had already gone through the wash. Also 1 in 5 of the Teen Dads on stage thinks that standing upright during sex will prevent pregnancy. Keep laughing audience. This is how babies are made.
They decide to group the Teen Dads into sections. First being the 2 that have f*cked up relationships. That would be Gary and Amber from Teen Mom and Adam and Chelsea from Teen Mom 2 (<---not as good as the original Teen Mom - #Ihatesequels- hashtag!). Adam is basically the same douche that we see on the show and doesn't give much insight or info except to say that "he doesn't like having to relive what happens on the show".....great... That's all I'll say about him because he called his baby a mistake and well, I just really don't care what he has to say ever. Moving on, Gary recognizes that most people think he's a p*ssy (glad you notice that Gary) but says that he's just a really nice guy and that Leah is his everything. He even asks to take a "toll" about it and it seems like the audience does like Gary. I'll admit it. I love that big ole tub of lard Gary and I wish him the best with that crazy b*tch Amber.
Next up is Tyler and Corey with the f*cked up family section of the show. They show old show footage of the two guys buying engagement rings, proposing to their girls and Corey and Leah's wedding. When they pan back I think I see Corey about to do the ugly cry but he holds it in. Corey said he jumped right into marriage and then he jumped right back out. The audience laughs. Yes everyone, divorce IS hilarious. Dr. Drew slyly notes that condoms cost way less than twins. The more you know Dr. Drew, the more you know. Now they show the Tyler/Butch footage. Tyler says that their relationship is good but he doesn't think Butch will ever be sober......sad. Tyler wants to break the cycle and be a good dad to his other children eventually. He's so knowledgeable beyond his years. I just find myself constantly rooting for him whether he's with Catelynn or not.
Time for the custody battle group: Yawny Ryan and Wannabe Rapper Jo. Starting off they show footage of them fighting over custody with the Teen Moms. Ahhhh verbal abuse is so refreshing. Ryan says that having to go through all of that "sucked". He is such a man of few words. Dr. Drew ask them if they're happy with their exes moving on and they both seem to not care about the new guys. Of course Dr. Drew goes back to the "would you ever see yourself getting back together" question (because he's 16). Jo says "maybe" and Ryan says something to the effect of it would need to be a life changing event or something but it sounded like this "maybitwdneedtobelikelifechangingslursslurslur". Dr. Drewsky asks Jo and Ryan if they're dating anyone to which they both reply "no". Apparently they are "hooking up" with people though which is hilarious to the audience because well, teen pregnancy is hilarious and can get you a ton of money and your own spinoff on MTV.
Finally Dr. Drew sits down with all of the guys to talk about the biggest fights that were on the show. Again, verbal abuse is the name of this special. Dr. Drew thought Ryan had a "reaction" to the clips but Ryan denied it. I think Ryan was just trying to hide a yawn and a facial expression came through. Gary mentioned something pathetic about missing Amber and blah blah blah. Dr. Drew asks them to give advice. Tyler says leave if you're unhappy (which Dr. Drew points out is hard if you have kids - nice low blow Drew). Adam of course says no one will learn from their mistakes because he's a genius. Ryan says something about thinking before you do anything but I couldn't really understand it between the slurs and southern draw. Corey says that he gets called a slob and a price and a piece of shit and Ryan says that he gets called a douchebag (maybe they've read my blog???). I think it's time for a loveisrespect.org plug!!!!! Annnnnnnnnnd --->BOOM!!! Dr. Drew just said it!
In the end Ryan says that he doesn't want kids for a long time (maybe never) and he doesn't ever want to have another baby by himself (don't worry Ryan). Tyler says that "sometimes girls are evil" and "they can be manipulative and want attention constantly", you know, kind of like Teen Dads that want their own special?
All in all I thought this was a good special but I wish they would've followed the dads "Teen Mom" style for a few weeks and shown that footage. Oh well. I can always dream....
Did you see the special? What are your thoughts? Comment below and we'll discuss. You know, no big whoop....