They tried to make me go to rehab I said no, no, no.........

After a week hiatus Teen Mom is back and it's better than ever!!! Ok, maybe not that exciting but I'm glad it's back to entertain us for yet another week.  Sooooooo here we go!!!!!

Farrah

Our favorite freakin flighty Farrah is back in full force this episode.  She has lost her free babysitting because the state thinks she makes too much money (obviously the state thinks being a pizza cook is a real money maker), so she has hired her "friend" Ali to babysit.  Why is that in quotations you ask?  Well, b/c I just don't believe Farrah has actual friends.  Everyone that is considered her friend always has a side job.  Babysitter, hairdresser, etc.  I guess the hair dresser was actually doing hair this week b/c she wasn't featured.  Or, Farrah may have pressed charges on her after a bad dye job, I'm sure we'll find out soon.  Anyway, Ali is the designated babysitter this week.  Farrah's down to her last $100 and rent is due in 15 days.  So, Ali's technically babysitting for free or for airtime I'm not sure which one.  Ali seems to be doing okay with the babysitting and Sophia seems to like her.  Well I mean besides looking as passed out as a freshman at a frat party and screaming for her binky Sophia seems to be doing okay.  Ali tells Farrah that babysitting is really hard (you know b/c of the wetables) and that Farrah deserves a break.  Ali suggests speed dating you know, b/c dating is really what Farrah needs to be doing while she's stressing out about her child and having no money to pay her bills.  Farrah agrees.  I mean no harm no foul right?  I can't WAIT.  Farrah shows up at speed dating.  She is #2 which  by judging by the look on her face is exactly what she is wanting to do at that moment.  She sits down and we get to see the dates.  We get weird nice guy, weird cat guy, and weird Thai tattoo kickboxing guy who basically goes speechless when Farrah mentions her daughter.  Wow, what winners!  Which one will she choose??!   She decides to go home without picking any of the eligible bachelors.  I think it's the smartest choice she's made since she's been on the show.  She also discusses the speed dating disaster with Ali and doesn't even do the "Farrah cry".  Is our little girl growing up?  Way to go Farrah!

MACI (And Kyyyyyle)

Hey yaaaaaaa'llllll!  Maci's back!  Her relationship with Kyle is going well and she's thinking about the big "M" word.....moving!  They start out the episode with another kid friendly activity, putting Bentley on a dirt bike.  Have they heard of a swing set or slide?  That works well too you guys.  Anyway, most of this episode is spent on Maci trying to decide whether to move the 2 hours from Chatanoooga to Naaashville.  Can someone update me on how long they've been together?  Is this a little soon for anyone?  Oh well, from this episode we find out that Maci and Kyle have never spent more than a week together and that Kyle's never had a girlfriend before.  I'm crossing my fingers AND toes on this one b/c I really like them.  Maci drops Bentley off at baby daddy/douchebag Ryan's house so she can take her final and discuss transferring to NTSUuuuuuuuu.  She tells the counselor she's transferring for "personal reasons" but he obviously has heard that one and asks "what's his name".  Does the counselor have cable?  His name is Kyyyyyyle and he lives in Nashvillllleeee!  Anywhooo it looks like things are good with transferring.  Time to look at daycares!  Maci checks out a daycare in Nashville.  Everything's going well and then "boom goes the dynamite".  Bentley calls Kyyyyle "dada".  Way to test that one out Bentley.  Kyle plays cool but you can tell that one shook him up a bit.  Later Maci breaks the news to her friends.  They're disappointed but supportive.  Looks like Maci's taking Bentley and her accent to Nashvillllleee!

Amber & Gary

Back to the our favorite couple, Gary and Amber.  In this episode, Amber wants to finish up high school and move on to bigger and better things.  She can either go to an online high school and get her diploma for $350 or take the G.E.D. for $60.  She discusses it with Gary.  He decides G.E.D. so in true Amber fashion she disagrees with him.  She decides to go see her counselor for advice.  While talking to the counselor Amber mentions how she doesn't want to be judged by others for getting a G.E.D. instead of a diploma (Amber, you're on a reality show. You're going to be judged just for that fact).  The counselor talks her into getting a G.E.D. and you hear the voice over say "Gary was right".  Gary, did you hear that?  She said you were right.  True it was just a voice over, but it's on tape.  I hope he dvr'd tonight's episode.  Later they decide to go to an arcade to have a fun family night together.  They're all in the inflatable castle together and Leah is less than amused.  Question:  isn't there a weight/height limit for those things?  I'm pretty sure they're breaking ALL the rules on that one.  Anyway, Amber tells Gary that she has decided to take her G.E.D. and that it will require many sacrifices.  Mainly, her having to quit her job and Gary having to get a job.  Gary agrees and all is well.  He even tells Amber if she passes that he'll take her out to dinner.  She says she'd rather come back to the arcade and have dinner. Really Amber?  He said he'd buy you dinner.  At least do Olive Garden or some place that actually has real silverware.  Later on Amber is studying for the G.E.D. and Gary give his famous "piss Amber off one time each episode line" (I think it's contractual)  by saying " I want to marry a woman who's on her game."  Watch what you say Gary....watch what you say!   Amber decides to go and take the practice test at the library.  Apparently no one in their town reads b/c I see absolutely no one at this library.  Not even someone checking out books or anything.  Amber really struggles with the test.  She asks Gary if there are any smart pills or vitamins that can help her get smarter.  Gary mentions listening to Mozart.  He says (and I quote) "Listening to Mozart makes you like 50% smarter, it's scientific".  Thank you for that Gary.  Thank you SO much.

Moving on to Tyler and Catelynn and what I was really waiting on....

 Butch!!!

Yes everyone, Butch is back!  With his Joe Dirt mullet and all, Butch is out of jail and back at home for the moment and everyone seems happy with his return.  Tyler's kissing Catelynn, Tyler's dad is kissing Catelynn's mom, Catelynn's brother is kissing a wall (?), yep life is good.  Well that is until 5 minutes in when Butch gets the call telling him he's been ordered to go to rehab....for the 8th time!  Butch has to break the news at Tyler's mom's house and to his relief they're just happy because he's not going back to jail.  For all my avid teen mom watchers I have a question.  Did you know that Tyler had a sister?  I feel like she just showed up tonight.  I've never seen her. Ok, back to the recap.  Catelynn's mom goes with Butch to drop him off at rehab.    You can just see from her face that she's upset and that she's not going to handle this well.  She cries and she and Butch hug and then he's off.  Then for about 4 minutes I feel like I'm watching Celebrity Rehab but I'm not.  Well unless you want to count Butch and his mullet as a celebrity....hmmm...  We find out he was addicted to cocaine.  Not crack though.  Crack is whack.  Just coke and that's it.  Catelynn and Tyler discuss Butch's rehab while at school.  Tyler's in full Pauly D Jersey Shore hair mode.  Cut to a 3 second appearance from what I think is one of Butch's friends (actually a teacher) reading out an assignment.  Thanks for giving us the shot of the teacher MTV, great camera work.  Later at the house Catelynn's mom is starting to go all mommy dearest on Catelynn.  She starts complaining that Catelynn won't participate in family time, then she starts making up rules, and finishes by bringing up Carly, cussing Catelynn out and walking out the door. Wow.  Her mom is going nuts.  Catelynn calls Tyler to come get her so she can get away for a bit.  They discuss the whole situation with Tyler's mom.  Tyler's mom suggests that Catelynn try to communicate more with her mom to help with the situation.   I'm constantly amazed with how rational Tyler's mom can be.  I'm also equally amazed at the fact that Tyler's dad managed to bag both Tyler's mom and Catelynn's mom.  High five for Butch.  Catelynn decides to come home where she finds her mom writing a love letter to Butch.  And here's a surprise for everyone, her mom's still in a pissy mood.  Catelynn decides to make it better by helping out around the house.  Cue in a cleaning montage.....In the end they make up and we all see that all Catelynn's mom wanted was a friend to distract her from Butch being gone.  MTV managed to start and end that drama all in one episode. Well played MTV, well played.

Well, stay tuned for next week when : Amber & Gary fight, Farrah & her mom go to therapy, Catelynn & Tyler go to prom, and Maci & Ryan fight over Bentley...should be a great one!