Teen Mom Season 3 finale- "You can’t just bitch slap people 24-7 for doing bad things"

^^^&vvv  Flashback before the orange tans and fake boobs!!  

Well I can’t believe it.  It’s finally here.  The finale of Teen Mom Season 3.  We’ve grown to love, hate and laugh at this adorable cast of teens.  Hopefully they’ll announce when we’ll see Season 4 premiere but until then we’ll just break down this last final 90 minute episode.  Oh also as an added bonus I put some old and new pics on this blog.  =)


FARRAH

 

We’ll start with Farrah.  At the beginning of this episode Farrah had decided to move to Florida with Sophia.  We see footage of Sophia’s 2^nd birthday.  Of course within the first 30 seconds Farrah with her cheery attitude tells Michael to “shut the hell up” while she was trying to hide Sophia’s presents.  Michael takes it in stride.  I imagine he’s already had his few daily drinks to quell the pain of being in that family by now.  Farrah makes a well…interesting looking cake (where’d she get that Associates Degree from again?) and they all sit around the table and argue about their versions of how painful and stressful Sophia’s birth was.  Sophia gets a potato head for her birthday.  I’m surprised they didn’t get her a glowworm since that would probably soothe Sophia more at night (seeing as how Farrah kind of has that glowworm look to her).   Of course during the celebration Debra Downer brings up the fact that Farrah isn’t done with school and helps bring out Farrah’s ugly cry.  Once Debra sees the ugly cry she comes in with the kill and asks to keep Sophia again.  She follows up with her own ugly cry and that may have sealed the deal for the new living arrangement.  Farrah decides to meet with a “friend” Ali to discuss possibly leaving for Florida without Sophia.  Sidenote: Who the hell is Ali?  We know Farrah doesn’t have friends.  How much did MTV pay her for this scene?  Also maybe it’s that restaurant lighting but Farrah’s “invisible” braces are so um….invisible right now.  And is Sophia wearing leather pants or shiny black vinyl?  She looks like Olivia Newton John in the last scene of Grease. Later Farrah decides to have a really important conversation with Sophia over an etch a sketch over the pros and cons of moving as all important decisions DO require using an etch a sketch.  Farrah’s leaning towards keeping Sophia in Iowa.  In the end, Farrah decides to leave Sophia in Iowa.  Debra’s never looked happier with this decision.  Also, I’m so glad they had this important conversation in the dressing room of their local department store.  Also can we talk about those poor people who were spending a nice afternoon at their local Iowa sears looking for some hip, fashionable, clothing (perhaps the Kardashian Kollection). and then they go to try on some clothes in the fitting room and have to listen to Debra and Farrah have a conversation about Farrah abandoning her kid so she can go to Florida and “focus on herself”. Towards the end of the episode, Farrah goes on a drive to say goodbye to all the places that remind her of Sophia’s dad.  They go to the convention center, the lookout point where they used to just talk and “look at each other” for hours (i.e. where Sophia was conceived), and the high school.   I guess Farrah DOES need to get herself together, even if that means leaving Sophia behind. I think Sophia has a better chance with nutcase Debra than nutcase Farrah that cant stop crying for 5 minutes.


MACI

Maci’s story is interesting??? (<---I meant to put question marks).  Maci and her mom are out getting pedicures and trying to figure out how to get Kyle to marry her.  Maci decides that she’s going to have to avoid Ryan by having her mom be the go-between with drop offs with Bentley (yeah um…we’ll see how this goes).  Maci decides to message Ryan’s parents to discuss the new arrangement.  Ryan tries to figure out what Maci wants first by calling (of course his mom’s nosy behind is right there listening).  The next day Maci goes with Kyle to pick up Bentley.  Maci tells Ryan the new arrangement.  Ryan tries to argue with her and gets really heated.  He even punches a punching bag and doesn’t even yawn the entire time.  It shows that he’s still emotionally invested in everything (cause he still loves her ß-oop did I just say that) which could be good or bad.  Maci and Kyle talk about avoiding Ryan and Maci tells Kyle that she makes the rules and he can get over it if he doesn’t like it (Message to Kyle: It will be this way forever.  Are you sure you want that?).  On the first day of the “arrangement” it gets all sorts of messed up (since Maci forgets that people work M-F) so she has to drop of Bentley with Ryan by herself.  She decides to speak to her friend Erica to discuss the new arrangement that never happened.  Again, who is Erica?  Another “extra” MTV?  She’s frustrated that she’ll always have to deal with Ryan.  Did anyone play back that “You should’ve thought about that before you had a baby with him” statement in their head from Maci’s mom last week  when they heard her say that?  Just me?  Ok…  Back at Ryan’s house Ryan’s doing what he does best (hanging out and doing nothing) and his dad suggests that he go back to school to find another trade instead of sleeping.  The convo goes something like this:

Dad: “You ever think about going back to school, maybe getting another trade?

Ryan: "Do I need another trade though?"

Dad: "It's better than sleeping." 

Me: #Boom!  ß-Hashtag! Hashtag! Hashtag!!

Ok so maybe I wasn’t actually in the scene but those would’ve been my lines…

Ryan’s dad  follows up by calling Ryan a winner and I think he just earned himself more airtime with these jabs.   In the end Maci and Ryan meet at a restaurant to discuss their relationship.  They decide to get along for Bentley’s sake.  Maci asks when he’s going to meet someone.  I think she’s just fishing for info cause she still loves him (yeah I said it).  Maci decides to have yet another “where do we stand” conversation with Kyle.  Good lord Maci, don’t scare him away.  Maci says she can’t wait forever for Kyle.  Kyle says if he’s not worth waiting for then she shouldn’t wait because he doesn’t know when he wants to get married.  Because he’s 21.  Because he doesn’t have a kid.  Because he’s smart.  The End.


CATELYNN 

 

Moving on to Catelynn and Tyler. Butch is living in Detroit due to the no contact order.  He calls Tyler to ask if he can move in with him and Catelynn for 3 months. I CAN NOT WAIT for this to happen.  Tyler decides to discuss the new roommate situation over an afternoon lunch with Catelynn.   He and Cate decide to make a list of rules for Butch.  It goes something like this:  1. No drugs. 2. No illegal actions.   I’m lovin this already.  Move in day, well night (cause it looks like it’s 8pm) comes and Butch shows up with his dog, his flashy hot chili pepper pajama pants (and a dream) and he’s ready to party! Moods change when Butch, Catelynn and Tyler are talking about graduation.  Butch wants to know what to do if  Carly comes to graduation and he decides to grab her.  Well, they’d probably call 9-1-1 Butch.  Butch doesn’t really understand the whole adoption thing again and is bringing the whole house down.  Cate and Ty decide that having Carly at graduation may not be such a great idea since it would bring more drama than good.  They send an email to Brandon and Theresa to let them know not to bring Carly.  I can just imagine the relief on Brandon and Theresa’s faces when they read this email.   In the end Catelynn and Tyler are waiting around for Butch who hasn’t come back since last night.  April comes over and says that Butch is back in jail.  Btw how messed up does April look?  Tyler, April and Catelynn are crying.  Nick is even upset and crying on the couch.  So sad…. Nick sums it up by saying “This is horrible”.  It is Bentley 2.0, it is…. 




AMBER

 

In the loveisrespect.org world, Amber and Gary are trying to get the no contact order lifted but since there is an ice storm they can’t make that happen.  Gary, the glutton for punishment, wants to get back together with Amber ASAP once it is released.  Amber’s still rocking the Tammy Faye lashes and Lee Press on Nails.  The net day court is postponed again so Amber’s friend Jessica comes over to discuss everything.  For the last time who the eff is Jessica MTV?   Once again, Amber is rocking the lashes and discusses possibly getting back with Gary.   She says that she’s learned that you can’t just bitch slap people 24-7 for doing bad things” <--yes you can Amber, yes you can.  Gary’s hot friend Evan (seriously he’s hot why hasn’t he knocked anyone up yet?) comes over to talk to Gary about the no contact order.  Btw- I’m so tired of this story line (insert Ryan yawn here).  Gary is whining about how much he loves Amber and blah blah blah all while wearing his bright red Koolaid shirt (can I get an “Oh Yeah!!!”?)  Evan suggests that Gary write Amber a song.  Please write a song Gary please!  The ice storm finally lets up so Gary and Amber can go to court and get the no contact order lifted.  They revised the no contact order so they can’t be around with Leah present but they can now see each other.  Gary is psyched!!  Amber doesn’t seem as excited.  Amber’s mom reminds her that just because the contact order is lifted doesn’t mean that they need to get back together.  Amber goes all Madea on her mom by angrily saying how she changed and how she’s not angry anymore (okay?) and then they both yell at the traffic ….classy.…  Back at Gary’s place he actually wrote a song.  OMFG Thank you!!    Back at Amber’s place she’s busy not being angry by yelling at Leah for putting on her “expensive” makeup (did she get that from Big Lots?).  Gary calls her and sings his newly written song to Amber.  She’s not amused.  She doesn’t want to jump into a relationship right now because “someone needs to be the adult”.  Please let me know when you find the adult in all this ok? Gary gets upset and hangs up the phone.   Amber tries to call back but he ignores the call.  Btw I love how when Amber calls Gary the caller ID says “Plain old Amber”.  Did anyone else notice that?

And that’s all she wrote folks.  The season finale.  This cast has definitely grown up from the beginning of the season but there definitely is still a long road ahead.

Clips from the reunion look interesting.  They bring out Kyle and Ryan on the same stage all Jerry Springer style.  Dr. Drew finally asks Farrah why she doesn’t have friends and  Catelynn shows how insecure it makes her feel when she sees how Tyler had second thoughts about their relationship during this season.  Oh and she switched from a flower to a small bow in her hair so you know she’s serious.   Also Amber and her mom discuss losing Ambers sister to SIDS and Amber walks out.  It looks like Dr. Drew may actually get to some good issues on this one.  I will definitely be watching and of course recapping the absolute crap out of it!!   Stay tuned!!!